(no subject)

[shiningfractal]

my dear friend

for what reason would I risk everything

I haven't even got a verbal invitation

from the gnome king to partake of his abode

and yet they have painted

an inimitable portrait of me

lengthy and priestly

leaving me with an air of stupefaction

I ought to see what my inheritance is

in which ways I resemble my parents

there is nobody left now

just a Strong affection for myself

like a thick fog

causing nothing but

moral indignation

even though I have

repeated myself a Thousand times

in my wake I leave nothing but otherness

seems my seed sprouts

just to fill the space

calamities with no consolation

no joy to mitigate the sorrow

light up the mood and stop him

learn to read by yourself the book of life

the gnome king is old

he failed to achieve immortality

you can seize his throne

he won't complain

someone worthy has to take it

the bittersweetness

the traces of semi-darkness

such incidentes happen again and again

I did not specify

the clauses of the peace deal

I only beseeched thee

for a cease fire to be accomplished

sparing no expenses

yet I am unwilling

to decree Peace

upon the empire

the occasion is not That important

a rock, a stone

it is black

who cares

it was almost a disappointment

some Ladies had to get out

of the most exclusive parties in Paris

for an afternoon

just to cast a ballot

and so I was taking the liberty

to choose whichever mistress

my aching heart found most suitable

for I cry night and day

for that which I never had

even now I am crying

my tears are a silent prayer

asking God to do for me

what he knows that is best

come alive, half hidden flower

I will restore your peace of mind

he looked at me in such a way

I couldn't help but think

he would ravish me

had my body been more suitable

it is a masterpiece of incomparable art

then why it gives me so many disappointments

you're worrying yourself beyond measure

about things you can't control

and what can I control

the trumpets of judgement day

preposterous fraud

if all the rest was true

why wouldn't that be true as well

the mystics said

God Always Says Yes

aren't you tired of crying

where are you willing to go

to receive your due enjoyment

being the product of material causes

enjoyment requires requests

here I am to serve you

will you repeat to yourself

all your life

like your mother did

a disdain for wealth

please

you do enjoy a few

material comforts

like Books for instance

with a little bit more

Money

you could have a massive

private library

no one would disturb you

you will be free

to produce a lot

or nothing at all

I'm Always trying to recapture

the state of mind in which

I find myself at libraries

it is like hearing angels playing the violin

but everything is oh so silent

that is because you seem to think

that beauty and love are

somehow outside yourself

just because law is outside yourself

point the mirrors the right way

you will have a far easier time

the advantages you can guess

entertain political conversations

with people who actually

understand what is going on

how does that feel to you

I might have taken

the wrong box of medicine

I see nothing of the people

who seek to distract me

except when I open these

magical dopamine boxes

so in a sense

the illusion of love

is perfectly under control

and so is the illusion of beauty

it is only law I still have not mastered

and what does it take for you to master law

to be able to commit any crime

and get away with it

like a proper monarch

what kind of crime do you want to commit

do you want the truth or the Truth

both

in truth I seek to Murder

in Truth just a few Kisses

there

I answered you

such ordinary crimes

I'm an ordinary man

extra ordinary even

and they put me in charge

of rebuilding the moral unity of the nation

I was already beginning to forget

these painful feelings

but by my silence

I revealed

that my mind is not silent at all

if it were

would I require sedatives

would I experience sensual desires

this is the place of starvation

where you come to mortify your cravings

kill jealousy by killing yourself daily

so as to not be crushed by bitterness

you have done work

a Thousand times more remarkable

than what we have expected you to

why is that not suficiente for you

I shouldn't be able to sleep

knowing I did not exert myself to the limit

death of those I love

is bound to become increasingly frequent

in times such as these

even the Faith of Noah, David and Job

is not enough to save the nation

she once again turned to gaze at herself

and all she saw was the ruins of her own nation

reduced to that point by a century of carelessness

two or three men trying to put it back in track

but their problem was thinking

the problem was exterior

if we don't fix ourselves internally first

we can't mend these broken bones with bandaid

I'm not sure if that is an apt metaphor

me neither

but these people seem blind

to the tragedy of their own existence

was I ever that ignorant

I can scarcely recall

maybe the feebleness of old age

will make me even more ignorant

and maybe that will finally bring me some bliss

why are you postponing bliss for when you're dying

I'm dying right now, I'm not postponing it

how much more ignorant do you want to be

as ignorant as humanly possible

perhaps a little bit more

I have exhausted every venue of research open to me

ahead there are only paths I'm wholly unsuited to tackle

every choice sounds like a mistake and nothing makes sense

my life has been over for so long

that I don't even know where to start with

restarting it

when I first began to study

it didn't occur to me that

knowledge is dangerous

yes, it is

mainly to the knower

expressing yourself has attached dangers

those who Know should just remain silent

the people aren't ready for the Knowledge

is that an excuse to be

ignorant of everything

I mean

there are so many fun things to learn

but learning isn't fun

learning can be made fun

but it isn't intrinsically fun

it is just a thing we do in order to survive

do I want to survive

scrupulous and condescending

as Always my friend

I feel grossly insulted

by these fugitive creatures

who seem to think

everyone else is inferior to them

it is perfect nonsense

this is precisely the point

where hypocrisy becomes painful

like when those niggers won Hitler's olympic games

we ought to be polite with everyone

for we never know the Rank

of the person we are saluting

I can't care about that

you'd be stupefied to know

that we Always know

when we find a member of our Society

God simply whispers into our ear

he is one of us

so we get really annoyed

when we have to invite

one of those

really boring types

because there is something we need doing

and we lack the skills the boorish man has

frankly

we would rather just

hire a bunch of underaged prostitutes to pass the time

and wait a few years until people

learn the required skills

but the boss is in a hurry so

we are hiring specialists

instead of blowing all our Money

on blow and hookers as usual

I mean we still have our quotas but

it is not the same anymore

prudes Always ruin everything for us

men of intelligence, artists

who feel they are above their desires somehow

that is dangerous

not even fulfilling

their childhood fantasies

is enough to entice these great noble souls

the child had to perish

for you to be reborn

as an entirely different man

the only problem is you are in need

of constant spiritual nourishment

and there is nothing more expensive than that

what made you even more impressive and appaling

it is like a baby god who only eats antimatter

really hard to keep

***