(no subject)

[shiningfractal]

there were no protestations
there was eagerness
the kind I was always afraid of
not naturally of course
this fear was beaten into me
by my mother
if you wait until you're ready
you're never going to do it you know
my indignation was increased
when I realized it was only
her name that had fascinated me
family and domestic
such was the sentiment
she trembled at the thought
of losing me
losing
me
ha
as if I could forget
the full name home location and phone number
of the girl I met in sixth grade
as if her visage was anything other than
seared into my mind forever
and the very same happened
with each and every single one
that followed
one day I just decided
I would no longer research anything
about the girls I liked
nothing nothing at all
it is too easy to learn a lot about people
from thence onwards I satisfied myself with
guesswork

***